It started-the familiar pain just inside the rib cage of my soul.
Right in the center of my being, where I hold most everything-anything, dear.
Time after time I've felt this, you'd think the crushing depths would be second nature..
But they're still as foreign to me as the moon I now look upon and ponder.
I ponder many things- life, love, purpose
But the one thing I deny my heart tonight, is the one thing that history shows me I'm magnetic to.
Fuck it. I allow the memories to come crushing inside, to feel the pain at it's maximized point, like a stake piercing me slowly.
My jaw slacks just enough to draw in a slow, deep breath, as if to breath through the pain. Or so my yoga instructor preaches.
This always happens, and I know I sound pathetic. Even a bit whiny- self centered, shallow, blind. But it's my plague.
I love and I lose. It's this vicious cycle of disgusting repetitiveness.
"Is it too much to ask?" But apparently it is, because the walls that I talk to, can't seem to let anyone in..
-Jessica Carpenter-
No comments:
Post a Comment