A Mirror Never Lies

A mirror never lies
It only shows the truth.
And those eyes which so compelled me 
now fall short of all their youth.

And your lips?
How sweet did they feel
pressed upon my skin..
But now they're cracked and broken
they look too thin..

Are you sick?
Are you hurt?
Whatever could I do?
You'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb 
not to see how I care for you.

But, if this mirror were to show all
and for the worlds innocence- I hope it does not
One would see your broken soul
weeping heart, cold emotionless knot.

For I've gazed into that hole 
the one you hold inside yourself.
I've seen your tight emotions,
kept on a dark, dusty shelf.

My heart screams to yours, "I love you!
Did I not come when you cried out!?!
Was I not kind? My heart, 
did I not throw about?!?

But my love you wear a mask 
and I beg you, take it off.
But to the world you never would
and I guess I'm not enough- I'm too soft. 

And now my own heart weeps 
that I could not be more .
But still I stand here waiting,
taking the teasing moments- and much more.

Is it so hard to imagine?!
With that shattered mind of yours??
When intoxicated, you love me
your vice opens your doors.

But then the sun rises 
doors close, walls spring up.
And I sit here an Aries,
a hopeless romantic, my gaze turns up.

So look hard into this mirror 
tell me what you see.
And if you see the bleeding heart behind you,
don't be surprised to find it's me




-Jessica Carpenter- 

Missing You

I miss you like the frozen ground misses the kiss of the suns fiery lips. 
You sparked such a blaze in my soul- I knew neither before nor since. 
Fate allowed a meeting of such grand accord to progress-
But now you're so far away, my longing for my beloved friend, I confess. 
Come back to me please, I miss your crude jokes
I miss the way your smile, my laughter, did it provoke. 
I find a new haunt tonight, the memories I did store
And I sit here writing you a poem, hoping you know my heart springs sore.

-Jessica Carpenter- 

Something

Somethings beneath the surface- something I can not see.
Something thats threatening to tear apart you and me.
Something is stirring deep down inside, it needs to be let out- it seeks to be alive.
This something has teeth, fangs, and even claws..
This something is haunting- stalking my memories halls.
This somethings always plagued some small part of my mind
This something is attacking- we've run out of time.

-Jessica Carpenter-

Please

It's a long story of tearful nights, of brutal beatings, or cold flights.
But alas we're not here to trouble over the past, it's turbulence we choose to fast-
We're here to discuss a matter of hearts that takes us beyond the boundaries of lust.
Although I must confess, I am a bit twisted, my shady mouth full of snakes- I mislead.
I'm sorry to those of you tonight who do not wish to read this, who do not care for the sight.
My stomach grows weak at the thought of what could have been?? I'm sorry my love, I should have seen it then.
Please, don't leave. I beg of you, stay. I could not bare the thought of my heart ripped away.
I fall, I make mistakes, I fuck up and I am ashamed, but I am after all human, and I don't now know what to say.
A little bruised, a little worn, a little cursed, a little torn. I'm a pathetic excuse for a cause, but please don't be blinded by my flaws.
I was inconsiderate, I showed no restraint, I ruined any chances, I made a fatal mistake.
But for the hope of the lost, please show me some grace, let me make up for my short comings- eat all my mistakes.
It may be too forward, but I wish I could be held, within your arms I never knew, within a love I never held.

-Jessica Carpenter-

Burn In Hell

You were the one to command the massacre of soul,
Amongst the screams and darkness I was able to remain whole.
My virginity, my heart- those precious jewels you stole
Your vicious blows have just now stopped taking their toll.
And my friend I can not tell you, what the future does hold,
But I hope you burn in hell, I hope you burn burn burn. Blacker than the darkest coal.

-Jessica Carpenter-

Don't Act Like I'm Your Angel.

It started-the familiar pain just inside the rib cage of my soul.
Right in the center of my being, where I hold most everything-anything, dear.
Time after time I've felt this, you'd think the crushing depths would be second nature..
But they're still as foreign to me as the moon I now look upon and ponder.
I ponder many things- life, love, purpose
But the one thing I deny my heart tonight, is the one thing that history shows me I'm magnetic to.

Fuck it. I allow the memories to come crushing inside, to feel the pain at it's maximized point, like a stake piercing me slowly.
My jaw slacks just enough to draw in a slow, deep breath, as if to breath through the pain. Or so my yoga instructor preaches.
This always happens, and I know I sound pathetic. Even a bit whiny- self centered, shallow, blind. But it's my plague.
I love and I lose. It's this vicious cycle of disgusting repetitiveness.
"Is it too much to ask?" But apparently it is, because the walls that I talk to, can't seem to let anyone in..

-Jessica Carpenter-

The Fates Have A Fickle Way About Them.

The trees stood like melted candles-
Like an old mans fragile hands, bubbled & warped.
The warm sun blazed up above
A gentle breeze giving me a blissful, bittersweet relief- reminding me I'm only human.
I felt as though there were three pairs of hands, guiding my feet, heart and mind.

I've debated this decision for awhile,
As it was- a crossroad, however cliché.
I could follow the freeway that would give me a set, splendid life,
Or follow the game trail, not quite a path meant for silk slippers.
Obviously, I'm more adventurous, maybe more so than for my own good.. ..

My eye gazed heaven bound, as I looked at the brick, marble, and glass that would harness the power of my comply.
"I'm a selfish creature" I say with a half-wit smile.
I stride forward, gracefully entering my coronation, my creation.

Though I must confess-
After many sleepless nights, and even more wrinkled brows-
I'm embarking on this survey, although I'm sure the wilderness- wildness of that path has taken me, and now taunts me.

So I sit here thinking of an internal war that was waged and won
And with the sweat of anticipation I finally realize,
this is my road, just for me.. ..

The One Shared eye twinkles with grace
my decision inside has been made,
Its the world that I want, and will forever chase.

-Jessica Carpenter-